Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
