Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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