pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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