so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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