Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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