Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
