Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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