im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
