There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
