shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
