the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
