oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
