just tell him i said nine months
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize