Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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