I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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