But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I could make wine with my vomit
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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