I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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