Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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