so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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