dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
