First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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