Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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