I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We were destined to go to rehab together
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
