Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
