i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
