I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
