Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
