my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
