Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize