Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
my sisters under your porch take her home
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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