i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
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