I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
