Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
she smelled like a LAN party
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just pee around me
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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