why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
