people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize