Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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