What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Fuck appropriateness.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
