I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
