You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
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