Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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