I understand Curling. That high.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
