Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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