Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
