did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
