He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
