We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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