I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
