that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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