Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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