i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize