Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
