It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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