it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
