He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
