yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize