butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
