I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
