Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
