Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You are the jesus of drinking
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
